Cowboys and Aliens (or the Dust Covered Equivalent of Hot Sex)

There are some film titles that just kinda speak for themselves – Snakes on a Plane, Hobo with a Shotgun, Hot Tub Time Machine. They create an image that is immediate and almost impossible to shake. Some people find the clarity and suddenness of that image to be daunting – or as some might phrase it, “That movie sounds retarded.”

Why, because it doesn’t feel it needs to be poetic with its title? I say give the self-explanatory film title his due. He’s got balls. The self-explanatory film title is Jack Donaghy saying with unwavering confidence, “It’s not long, but it’s thick.” Cause he’s got more than enough and he knows how to use it.

Cowboys and Aliens, ladies and gentlemen. Or as I would have coined it, Cowboys and Fucking Aliens, if you will.

If you still doubt, try this on for size – Take every Steven Spielberg movie you loved as a child. Now rename it with the main key plot point –

Big Shark Eats People, The Spelunking Professor, Kid Finds an Alien, Potato Mashers Sense Aliens, and even Kid Sees Ghosts (in TV).

The titles don’t change the fact that the movies are fucking brilliant.

Still, in the case of Cowboys and Aliens, there is one very key point I’m failing to note.

Clearly this film could have also been called The Film Starring Indiana Jones and the Man Known as Hot Sex.

Give me Sam Rockwell in a dusty vest, spectacles, and a cowboy hat and I will give you my undivided, drooling attention and a thousand of his babies.

Damn that man is sexy.


One thought on “Cowboys and Aliens (or the Dust Covered Equivalent of Hot Sex)

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