Well, I’m a regular over achiever over here, Jesus!
This is the Eucalyptus wreath in my living room.
I have a thing for Eucalyptus and it isn’t just the seething hate I feel everytime I have to spell the damn word (I’m doing well, but I slow down to cold Molasses when I start typing it). The stuff smells like wealth and comfort to me. When I was very small, my mother house sat for this family in my hometown (Concord, Massachusetts. If you know Concord, you know that even if a house in Concord smelled like turtle poop, it would still, by proxy be the stench of wealth on some level. You can’t just charm your way into Concord, ladies and gentlemen. You need Scrilla! Cheddah! Hence my goal to reclaim my hometown, by buying a house there when I am a millionaire. But I digress).
Back to my story – the family had Eucalyptus (fuck that word!) in every room. The whole house smelled of it. They had Eucalyptus in every room, a Bose stereo from which Aerosmith would always be playing, a son who would annihilate his drum set in the basement while we stayed there (given his parents clear and total trust in his judgment and capacity to care for the house himself…), two gorgeous Golden Retrievers with hearts of solid fuzzy, and a piano on which I made up five note songs as a four year old child.
They had a jacuzzi, they used Finesse Shampoo, they had a walk up closet (that’s right WALK UP! A loft for just clothes), and their entire house smelled of the aforementioned plant which I will not type again given that this sentence took me less time than that fucking word alone!
If I could have a wreath of 1980’s Finesse Shampoo in my house, it might top this bad larry for the wealthy vibe I feel when I smell it, but I can’t find Finesse to save my god damn life, so this will have to do.
Clearly, Day 4 was a wordy day…