My Fitness Porn Star

Well, if you’re on MyFitnessPal.com (and active on the forums) you know it is the silliest place in the world. It is also a place where everyone is an expert on everything, but I think that is the internet in general.

Anyway, so I meander into the forums for fun, when I’m bored or deliberately distracting myself from Photographs or my novel, and I get a giggle here and there. Once I discovered that, were I a disney character, I would be Merida from Brave, or as a close second, Ariel the Mermaid, and bringing up the Bronze was Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Of course I smiled at that one – all three of those are flattering! (And seriously, Merida and I ARE the same person. I’m just saying.)

Yet today was the clincher of just how fun and silly those forums can be. The name of the thread was “Describe the TYPE the above poster would go for.” I was bored. The girl above me was a pretty, skinny, well put together creature, so I posted ‘An IT guy.’

What did the person below me dub as my type?

“A porn star.”

I laughed, retaliated with “Back atcha!”, and worked a moment. Then went back to discover the next response was –

“A freak in the sheets.”

I laughed again and said, “A man who opens the car door for a lady.”

Then the third response…

“A really FAMOUS porn star.”

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My profile pic

So now I’m going to acknowledge the dark and frightening truth of their comments. They’re all fucking right.

Seriously, I was expecting something way off, or if they were going to get it right, ‘a blue collar guy,’ or ‘a fire fighter/cop,’ or ‘an outdoorsy guy,’ or even ‘a gentleman.’

But no… they call me out so hard, I felt almost spied on.

I can’t say I wouldn’t date an actual porn star, but if the man I’m going to marry isn’t an absolute hornball, then he ain’t my future husband. I do demand porn stardom from my future husband, in private. I just want to be the only other star in all the movies he does, thank you very much.

So seriously, how the hell did they know? How did they peg me? I do NOT look like Jenna Jameson – my tits are real and so is my mummy tummy, yet everyone of them knew me from jump street. Do I scream sex addict in green, or is it the red hair? I don’t know.

I certainly did laugh though!

Man, good times on silly forums. Good times. Now to go watch my favorite porn star. Manuel Ferrera

Yes, I looked up his name to be sure. Dear god does he know my soul. 😛

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