Star Wars: Battlefront 3 – Finish on my Face

I am so fucking crass, but seriously, I would make sweet love to this game – hardcore porn style.

Now, before I post what I’ve learned today, I’d like to express my feelings on the mere notion of my beloved Battlefront’s potential, long awaited return, with song –


There now…

Here’s what I know.

Today it was announced that Lucasfilm Ltd. and Disney Interactive are entering into a multi-year, multi-title exclusive licensing agreement with Electronic Arts Inc. (EA) for the creation of new high quality Star Wars games spanning multiple genres for console, PC, mobile, and tablets.

Industry leaders and creators of best-in-class blockbuster games, the development and publishing teams at EA will collaborate with the creative teams at Lucasfilm to provide audiences with all-new gaming experiences set in the ever-expanding Star Wars galaxy. As part of the agreement, EA studio teams DICE (Battlefield series) and Visceral (Dead Space series) will join BioWare (Mass Effect series, Star Wars: The Old Republic) in the development of new Star Wars games.

375070_368510986586566_2009037176_n (1)EA Games, the bastards who I am partially holding responsible for the watered down Dragon Age sequel, are now at the helm of my baby’s potential return. Am I upset about this?

FUCK NO! Any potential for a return is better than none. And truth be told, a first person shooter coming from EA makes me cream my pants a little bit.

Battlefield, anyone?

Seriously, Battliefield makes Call of Dut’s its bitch, as far as I’m concerned. Just the first level of Battlefield 3 was breathtaking.  Give me that again EA, but add the distant hum of a light saber and some pew pew pew’s and I’ll owe you sexual favors until the cows come home.

And let’s get serious here, BATTLEFRONT online MultiplYERRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sorry, I spazzed a bit there. Hold my hair while I vomit fucking rainbows!!

I’m gonna snipe you! And You! AND YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!!! I’m going to be a raging pain in EVERYONE’S asses, and I – I might even get some headphones and a mic (something I’ve never done before) and actively call you all homos with every kill.

Boom. Headshot!

I’m gonna tea bag Kashyyyk and kill SO many wookies, it’s gonna be un-fucking-real.

Now, truth be told, the announcement of a Third Battlefront hasn’t technically been announced, but I control the universe with my fucking mind, so I’m going to celebrate as though it is a done deal.

Celebrate with me, won’t you?


3 thoughts on “Star Wars: Battlefront 3 – Finish on my Face

  1. ” Hold my hair while I vomit fucking rainbows!! ”

    ” I control the universe with my fucking mind ”

    You’ve got me laughing out loud like an orang-utan who just discovered nitrous.

  2. Pingback: I CONTROL THE FUCKING UNIVERSE… | Sleep Before Waking

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