Prepare to laugh mercilessly at me –
So, Glucomannan was recommended to me as a fiber supplement. It apparently thickens in your belly, makes you feel full, all that great stuff. I thought why not and order some. It arrives and I see it says 2g fiber per serving. WHAT? That’s freakin nothing! I thought…
I decide to give it a whirl this morning, plop two tablespoons into a glass of OJ and Water, stir, and quickly realize if I didn’t drink it fast, I’ll be using it to spackle drywall, it thickened so much. I chugged that gelatinous ooze as quick as I could, ignoring the unfortunate texture, then settled in with a glass of water, reading the fine print on the bottle to my mother.
Me – “Take One Half level teaspoon in 8oz of water twice daily.”
Mom – “Wait. One HALF LEVEL TEASPOON?”
Mom – “How much did you just put in that glass of OJ?”
Me – “Uhhh…two tablespoons.”
Mom – “So, you just took 12 times the dose?”
Me – *Stares at container* “Woops.”
And there you have it. 24 grams of fiber in one sitting.
Today is going to be a good day, ladies and gentlemen.
So to celebrate the aPOOcalypse that will most likely be the next two days of my life, I bring you –