What Deflategate and Tom Brady’s Suspension Say About the NFL

As of moments ago, the findings in the Deflategate investigation have resulted in penalties to both the Patriots AND Tom Brady.

TOM BRADY – Suspended for Four Games

PATRIOTS TEAM – Fined 1 Million Dollars and revoked two first round draft picks.

What are they being penalized for?

‘PROBABLY’ DOESN’T CUT IT: DEFLATE-GATE REPORT’S FINDINGS UNDERMINE CONCLUSION

11150360_861304693917348_7478646683669246323_nFor ‘probably’ being aware that a couple ball boys may have tampered with the Psi in the game balls. Game balls used during the first half of a blow out game against the Colts, in which Pats won 45-7, scoring over thirty of their points in the second half.

Sounds reasonable, right? I mean, ‘probably’ equals guilty when in reference to an already guaranteed Hall of Famer like Brady, right? Let’s knock him down a peg because he plays for a team that my team can’t seem to beat.

Even if I conceded that Brady MAYBE knew (which I honestly don’t think it matters) about the balls being a little under for the first half of that game, and even if I thought Ball Psi ever mattered in ANY NFL GAME before it was being slung at the Patriots, here’s my problem with this whole shebang…

How the NFL Has Punished Players Arrested for Domestic Violence

If you read the above article, you will find the words, “For example, more than half of players who have been accused of domestic violence during Roger Goodell’s tenure as commissioner have gone without punishment from the league.”

No punishment.

Back in September of last year, a certain Running Back known as Ray Rice was seen dragging his then fiiance out of an elevator. Then footage of him knocking her out cold surfaced. Roger Goodell saw the footage before the rest of the world.

“Roger Goodell, the NFL commissioner, had originally given Rice a mere two-game suspension in July after viewing the first video”

Which brings me to THIS unfortunate conclusion.

NFL Suspends Tom Brady for Twice as Long as Ray Rice (UPDATED)

For potentially knowing that his teams footballs in a single game may have been tampered with to get a lower Psi for his throwing comfort, much like ribbed condoms do for ladies, he is being suspended for TWICE the length of a player who beat his fiance.

So, by this notion, Tom Brady could’ve cold cocked Giselle in the face on camera and seen more lenient treatment by the establishment in which he is a living legend.

Whether you are a Pats fan, or an Eagles fan, or don’t even like the NFL, I ask that you overlook your opinion of the Patriots and see the real problem here. It isn’t just “innocent until proven guilty” being thrown out the window, it’s common decency.

As An Irish Woman, I Take Issue With This

But not with my rampant casual racism towards my own people. I mean, for real. 

I mean come on, there’s mashed, French fries, potato guns for when shit gets tense, and I’m pretty sure somebody invented a flashlight powered by potato. 

And if they didn’t, they should. We dig potatoes in the Carrigan household. 
  

Libra – I Couldn’t Decide Whether to Write This

As per usual, the title of this blog post is tongue in cheek.

I’ve taken well over a year trying to get up the motivation to write this bad boy. Why, you ask? Because Libras are a pain in my ass.

Now, to clarify that term, I acknowledge that I am Aries, and Libra is my opposite. Counter intuitive to that statement, this results in Libras and I getting along very well. That having been said, they’re still one of the most hard to define of all the signs. Still gonna give it a go though! Here comes the trews!

Libra’s symbol is the sign of the scales, which may explain the first and foremost detail of all Libras I have ever known – They can’t make a decision to save their fucking lives. Seriously, Libras will hem and haw over any minute decision forever. They weigh the pros, cons, play out all possible outcomes, then rehash all of it several times, all in an effort to make sure they are choosing the best possible course of action.

Two Libras hanging out – “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

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Libra Woman – I’m feeling pressured to get married, so I’m going through with it, but then I will file for divorce within 77 hours.

They can literally take so long deciding, that the final step has to be made by someone else. As a result, Libras often end up in situations they don’t like simply because when it was time to decide, they couldn’t make up their mind and someone else stepped in to do it for them. This seems like the right thing to do, because otherwise, nothing will ever get done, right?

Wrong.

Libra will resent the shit out of you for strong arming them when they can’t make up their mind. If you want to help a Libra make a decision, there are steps.

You – “Where do you want to eat dinner tonight?”

Libra – (The sheer magnitude of options overwhelms them) “….Ummm…”

You (narrow it down) – “I was thinking Chipotle or Panera.”

Libra (relief mixed with suspicion) – “Really?”

You (Show you’re taking them into account) – “I know you love those ‘chewbacca’ tacos (whatever they’re called), but I know you also enjoy a heaping serving of Mac and Cheese. And you mentioned having a hankering for tacos the other day…”

Libra – “That’s true. I did.”

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Of course this quirky bastard is a Libra.

You – (If they’re still on the fence) “I have a wicked hankering for tacos, myself. Do you want to decide on the way/when we get there and make me stop at Panera on the way home if/when you change your mind and randomly pick a place I didn’t mention on a whim as we pass it?”

Libra (in jubilation) – “That sounds awesome!”

It is what it is. You get used to it. If you can’t handle someone who needs the patience of Job when it’s time for decision making, leave the Libra ALONE.

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No more intense man out there, I believe.

Libras can be Suspicious. And Intense.

A Libra is the most likely person to spend hours writing a query letter to an agent as they’re trying to get their book published then NOT send it because they’re afraid the agent is going to ‘steal their book idea.’ They are always weighing every side, sizing people up, preparing for the potential worst. They judge you on your ‘vibe,’ and if you feel off, that can be enough to a Libra to cease contact. It can make for some pessimism on their part, but try to get in their good graces and the suspicious wonder should die down.

The suspicion adds to that intensity, but part of the intense vibe they can give is just how focused they are on you. If you have their attention, you have ALL their attention. They want to read you, know you, figure you out, and give you center stage when you interact. You are being studied so as to be better understood. Oftentimes, it can be a little much for the average person. For others, it makes them feel like the center of the universe.

This trait is shared with Aries. We are both intense motherfuckers.

Libras can be some weird sons of bitches. Libras are interesting (if not downright fucking oddball) people. They are into all sorts of strange shit. Many are super spiritual, believing in higher selves, meditation, yoga, Mind over Matter, ghosts, Shamans and Past lives. If it isn’t spirituality, it’s body temple stuff. Care of mind, care of body; it all applies.

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Libra Woman – I have chosen a healthy lifestyle, so now I’m a lifestyle blogger telling others how to eat and live.

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Libra Woman – I have chosen a vegan lifestyle AND had a child, so I wrote a book telling others how to eat and raise their children.

This side of Libra can be really interesting and fun. Some of the deepest and most earnest conversations I’ve ever had about beliefs were with a Libra.

It can also be a bit daunting, because though Libra has trouble making up their mind when it comes to decision making, when it comes to that strange THING they’re into, they’re definitely an expert on it.

They mean well. I mean, they really fucking do. Both women shown here come across as super pretentious to a lot of people, but in their heart, their desire isn’t to prove they’re better than anyone else. They HONESTLY believe they’ve found the answer to life and they want to share it. They WANT you to be happy. They just know better than you do how to make that happen. Libras are well meaning, but completely oblivious to how this behavior can come across.

Another tendency of Libra is that they disappear. When shit gets heavy, Libra is gone. It’s not that they don’t care for you, it’s not that they aren’t your friend, but Libra CANNOT handle drama. This is a trait of many air signs, but unlike with Gemini, who does not have fucking time for your bull shit, Libra will find themselves ‘weighed down by your energy’ and will just cut loose until they get their shit figured out. It might be because you are going through drama, but most of the time, when Libra disappears, it has nothing to do with you. It’s all them. It’s how they are ‘internalizing your struggle.’

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Tantric Sex, Yoga, and Soft Rock? Libra.

That friend of yours that has decided to up and move to an Ashram for the next six months? Probably a Libra.

The pal who randomly packed up a single suitcase and went to live on an island and work as a housekeeper? Also a good chance that’s your Libra, and he or she is trying to figure themselves out. They will come home with some profound answer, and they will share it, OR they’ll take off again until they find it.

Libras can be flighty as all get out. I mean, all get out. It’s the air sign thing, personified. I’m not saying they are airheads, but they often come across as ‘in the clouds.’

Also, Libras are enormously fond of all forms of art. Performance art, visual art, music, theater – they are wild eyed in the face of it, awe-struck by the profound and shocking. Many engage in the creation of art in some way or another, and if you are taking part in a drawing class at college, that naked model posing for you to draw them? Goooood fucking chance that’s a Libra.

Anything for art.

This previous video shows Leonardo Dicaprio (subtle and ENDLESS talent) slamming his hand into a glass, slicing his palm open, and CONTINUING THE SCENE AS THOUGH NOTHING HAPPENED!! That is the Libra response. Anything for art. And alongside him? Christoph Waltz, who probably SAW this and was riled up AS BALLS by the commitment. There’s nothing that does it for a Libra more than seeing someone fearlessly go for it. Hence their fondness for Aries.

They Love Fearless Action In Others.

One of my oldest friends and I went out to dinner after not hanging out for months. After supper, my strawberry shortcake arrived at the table, a pile of whipped cream ten inches deep on top.

My Libra Friend – “You should Smash -”

Me – *Smashes face into pile of whipped cream.*

My Libra friend – “I missed you so much!”

Action and bravery, fearlessness and a complete lack of concern for what other people think- these traits just SLAY the Libra. They love and respect a person who embodies these things, which I theorize is because of how cautious and slow they are when making any choice.

My baby brother is a Libra, and one of my favorite people in the world. When we were very young, I came across he and a friend from the neighborhood arguing over a Nightcrawler (an earthworm), daring each other to eat it, calling each other chicken. Both boys pushed and fought, teasing each other, but neither would eat the insect. I listened for a few minutes, then snapped, marching over to the two boys, snatching the worm out of my brother’s friend’s hand and tossed it in my mouth.

I ate a fucking worm, ladies and gentlemen. Why? Because others were afraid to do it. Hearing two boys argue over doing a gross thing became a dare to me. So I did it. (Clearly an Aries.)

Two seconds later, my brother ate his worm, too.

Libra Humor –

Honestly, this applies more to the males, but Libra males are amongst some of the most quick witted minds I have ever encountered. Their sarcasm, humor, timing, delivery – they are just made for slaughter. (I may be partial because I am an Aries. The Libra sarcasm is EXACTLY the kind of humor that slays an Aries.)

Ryan Reynolds is often confused with a Libra (due to his being born ON the mid point between Libra and Scorpio). The Ryan Reynolds humor is EXACTLY the Libran humor I am talking about. Zack Galifinakis, Chevy Chase, and Sacha Baron Cohen are also good examples of Libran humor.

Now, I admit this humor carries over into Scorpio as well, but that isn’t uncommon for close signs to share traits. Still, in the short stint I spent on OkCupid in my life, the funniest fellow I ever encountered in written word was a Libra. Libras can be funny in writing. That isn’t the easiest thing for most people.

will-smithYou Want Libra on Your Side.

Libras believe in you. I mean, they fucking believe in you. An Aries you want on your side because they’ll take a bullet for you, but a Libra will champion your dreams, assure you of your worth, push you onto your feet if you get knocked down, all with the reminder that YOU are worthwhile. They can’t make a decision for themselves, but when they see YOU wavering, they are ON YOU to make sure you know just how capable and destined for success you are. Look at Will Smith.

The man is a walking pep talk.

They are frustrating, intense, flighty, and free-spirited, but they’re cool as hell and up for just about anything. Find a Libra, make nice, and be interesting. Otherwise, what purpose do you serve?

Though any pairing will be lovely if you know what you’re dealing with and how to do so,

Libras are known to be most compatible with Leos, Gemini, Aquarius, and Sagittarius, though I would venture Aries as well, and they have a tendency to chafe around water and Earth signs, especially Virgo, Capricorn, and Cancer.

Recurring Dreams Have Me Married To…

Don’t know why. I’ve never even really had a crush on this bastard, but over the past fifteen years, I have had multiple dreams where I was married to – 

Topher Fucking Grace. 

In the first dream, we were at the altar and he suddenly bust out in a wookie impression. I knew then he was the one. 

Someone analyze that shit!

 

Last Week Tonight on Standardized Tests

If the subject didn’t already rile me up, this would have done it.

Watching a smart, exceptional, and motivated young girl grow weepy when describing how something as pointless and ineffective as a Standardized test resulted in her losing her place in an advanced class brought me to tears. Just got home from receiving the results of my daughters school evaluation, discovering that though I now have proof my baby is a genius, my baby also doesn’t do exceptionally well on tests.

I’m already a freakin bawl bag. These tests don’t properly assess the capacities of the children being tested, and they don’t benefit the curriculum. Forcing children to perform on meaningless tests as a means to gain funding is the worst educational endeavor since paddling.

Feast your eyes.